Amelia Kate Richardson Ever stare at your to-do list feeling like you’re about to climb Mount Everest in flip-flops? Your heart starts racing before you even pick up the pen, and suddenly that simple goal of “get more organized” feels impossible. Welcome to goal-setting with General Anxiety Disorder—where even the best intentions can trigger a full-blown anxiety spiral.
Last month, my friend Sarah called me in tears. She’d made a beautiful vision board, written out her goals, and felt ready to tackle the new year. Three days later, she was hiding in her bedroom, convinced she was a failure because she hadn’t completed her morning routine perfectly. Sound familiar? Anxiety has this cruel way of turning our dreams into sources of shame.
But here’s what I’ve discovered through years of wrestling with GAD and walking alongside others in their healing journeys: the problem isn’t that we’re setting goals—it’s that we’re setting them the same way people without anxiety do. We need a different approach, one that honors both the reality of our anxious brains and the truth that God has good plans for our lives, even in the midst of our struggles.
Why Traditional Goal-Setting Fails the Anxious Mind
When most people think about goals, they picture climbing ladders—each rung representing progress toward some shiny outcome at the top. But anxious brains don’t work that way. We’re constantly scanning for danger, which means every goal becomes a potential source of threat rather than excitement.
Think about it this way: while others see opportunity, we see a thousand ways things could go wrong. That fitness goal? Our brain immediately calculates all the ways we might injure ourselves or embarrass ourselves at the gym. The desire to deepen our Bible study? Suddenly we’re convinced we’ll never understand scripture well enough or that God is disappointed in our lack of spiritual discipline.
This isn’t weakness or lack of faith—it’s how General Anxiety Disorder actually rewires our thinking patterns. The amygdala, our brain’s alarm system, becomes hyperactive, treating everything as a potential emergency. No wonder traditional goal-setting feels overwhelming.
Scripture reminds us that God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound judgment (2 Timothy 1:7). This verse doesn’t mean our anxiety disappears overnight, but it does mean we can learn to set goals from a place of God’s love rather than our fear.
The Anxiety-Friendly Goal Framework
Over the years, both in my own journey and in working with others, a different approach to goal-setting has emerged—one that actually works with anxious brains instead of fighting against them.
Start Where You Are, Not Where You Think You Should Be
Traditional goal-setting often begins with grand visions of who we want to become. But anxiety-friendly goals start with honest acknowledgment of where we actually are right now. This isn’t about lowering standards—it’s about building from a foundation of truth rather than wishful thinking.
Instead of “I want to pray for an hour every morning,” an anxious person might begin with “I want to say one grateful prayer when I wake up.” The difference isn’t ambition; it’s sustainability. Anxiety thrives on all-or-nothing thinking, but God works in the small, consistent moments.
When Jesus told His disciples not to worry about tomorrow because “each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:34), He wasn’t being pessimistic—He was being practical. Anxious minds naturally project into the future, imagining all the ways we might fail. But God invites us to focus on today’s possibilities, not tomorrow’s potential disasters.
Focus on Process, Not Outcomes
Here’s something that completely shifted my perspective: anxious brains do much better with process goals than outcome goals. When we focus on specific actions we can take rather than results we hope to achieve, we give ourselves something concrete to hold onto when anxiety tries to derail us.
Instead of “lose 20 pounds” (outcome-focused and anxiety-provoking), try “take a 10-minute walk three times this week” (process-focused and manageable). Instead of “become a better Christian” (vague and overwhelming), consider “read one verse and write one sentence about how it applies to my day” (specific and doable).
Process goals work because they put the power back in your hands. You can’t control whether you lose exactly 20 pounds or how others perceive your spiritual growth, but you can control whether you lace up your shoes for that walk or pick up your Bible for five minutes.
Build in Flexibility From the Start
This might sound counterintuitive, but the best goals for anxious people are the ones that plan for imperfection from the beginning. When we build flexibility into our goals, we’re not lowering our standards—we’re being realistic about life with anxiety.
What does this look like practically? Instead of committing to daily journaling, you might commit to journaling three times per week. Instead of promising to attend every church service, you might aim for twice per month with grace for anxiety flare-ups.
I learned this lesson the hard way. For years, I’d set these rigid goals and then abandon them entirely the first time anxiety interfered. Now I create what I call “grace goals”—goals that have built-in acknowledgment that some days will be harder than others.
Practical Strategies for Setting Realistic Goals with Anxiety
The Two-Minute Rule for Overwhelming Tasks
When anxiety makes everything feel impossible, start with what you can do in two minutes. This isn’t about being lazy—it’s about outsmarting your anxious brain’s tendency to catastrophize.
Want to start reading your Bible more? Commit to opening it and reading one verse—that’s it. Want to exercise more? Put on your workout clothes. The goal isn’t to transform your entire life in two minutes; it’s to prove to your brain that starting is possible.
Often, once we start, momentum carries us a little further. But even if it doesn’t, you’ve still succeeded. You’ve shown up, and that matters more than you might think.
The Three-Goal System
Here’s a framework that has revolutionized goal-setting for so many people I work with. For any area where you want to see growth, set three versions of your goal:
Minimum Goal: What you can do even on your worst anxiety days Target Goal: What you hope to achieve most of the time
Stretch Goal: What you’d love to accomplish when everything aligns
For example, with prayer:
- Minimum: Say “Thank you, God” when I wake up
- Target: Spend five minutes in morning prayer three times per week
- Stretch: Have a 15-minute morning prayer time daily
This system removes the all-or-nothing trap that snares so many of us. Even on days when anxiety is high, you can still hit your minimum goal and feel successful rather than defeated.
Creating Accountability That Understands Anxiety
Traditional accountability can backfire for people with anxiety because it often involves reporting failures or explaining why we didn’t meet our goals—which just feeds our shame cycles. Instead, look for accountability partners who understand the unique challenges of living with anxiety.
This might be a friend who also struggles with mental health, a support group from your church, or even a therapist who can help you process both your goals and the emotions that come up around them. The key is finding people who celebrate small wins and offer grace during setbacks.
The Spiritual Foundation for Anxiety-Friendly Goals
Understanding God’s Perspective on Progress
One of the most liberating truths for anxious goal-setters is understanding that God doesn’t measure our worth by our productivity. The parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30) isn’t about achieving identical results—it’s about faithfully stewarding whatever we’ve been given, whether that’s five talents or one.
When anxiety is part of your daily reality, faithful stewardship might look different than it does for someone else. Your “well done, good and faithful servant” might come from showing up consistently in small ways rather than accomplishing grand gestures.
This doesn’t mean God has lower expectations for us—it means His expectations are rooted in love and understanding of our unique circumstances, including the reality of living with anxiety.
Prayer as Goal-Setting Partner
Instead of setting goals and then occasionally asking God to bless them, what if we invited Him into the goal-setting process from the beginning? This transforms goal-setting from a purely human endeavor into a spiritual practice.
Before setting any goal, spend time in prayer asking questions like:
- What areas of growth is God highlighting in my life right now?
- How might my anxiety actually be pointing toward areas where I need to trust Him more?
- What would it look like to pursue growth from a place of rest rather than striving?
This doesn’t mean every goal needs to be explicitly “spiritual.” God cares about our physical health, our relationships, our work, and our emotional well-being. But when we invite Him into the process, our goals become expressions of partnership with Him rather than attempts to prove ourselves.
Finding Identity Beyond Achievement
Perhaps the most crucial spiritual foundation for healthy goal-setting with anxiety is remembering that our identity is secure in Christ, regardless of whether we achieve our goals. This isn’t just a nice theological concept—it’s the practical foundation that makes sustainable change possible.
When our worth isn’t tied to our performance, we can pursue goals from a place of love rather than fear. We can take risks, make mistakes, and start over without questioning our fundamental value as human beings loved by God.
Moving Forward with Compassion
As you begin to set goals that work with your anxiety rather than against it, remember that this is a process, not a destination. There will be days when even your minimum goals feel impossible, and that’s okay. God’s mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:23), which means you get to start fresh as many times as you need to.
The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety from your life—it’s to learn how to pursue growth and healing even in anxiety’s presence. When we stop fighting our mental health struggles and start learning to work with them, we often discover that God can use even our anxiety as part of our story of redemption.
Your goals don’t have to look like anyone else’s. They don’t have to impress people or fit into neat categories. They just have to be true to where you are right now and gentle enough to sustain you through both good days and difficult ones.
Start small, build in grace, and remember that the God who numbers every hair on your head (Luke 12:7) certainly understands the unique challenges you face. He’s not waiting for you to get your act together before He can work in your life—He’s already working, often in the very places where you feel most broken.
Take one small step today. Your future self—and your loving God—will be proud that you had the courage to begin.
